Bride Wars (Gary Winick, 2009)

I like 13 Going on 30. I saw it a long time ago and I liked it a lot. I saw the end on TV a few months ago -- still liked it a lot. I like Jennifer Garner and the movie has a cute, bubbly atmosphere that really works for me.

I'd forgotten that my enjoyment for that movie was the reason that I wanted to watch Bride Wars -- Gary Winick being the connecting thread that ties the two movies. Unfortunately, they have almost nothing in common otherwise. Bride Wars exists in a weird, mean, not-cute-at-all world where feminism never happened. A world where platitudes about how extremely important a wedding day is for a woman can be uttered without any irony or self-awareness.

Plays like Rushmore, only if the creators thought the best part of the movie was when Schwartzman and Murray were being childish jerks to each other. The only semblance to 13 Going on 30 lies in the performances of the main characters. Like Ruffalo and Garner, Hathaway and Hudson have an unforced chemistry together, which is a shame because the movie is structured like the invert of a romantic comedy -- keeping the characters apart for 85% of the movie. I almost hated the movie, but anytime the girls were together and not hating each other the movie almost came alive. There's almost something homoerotic about how much chemistry they have together, compared to the lifeless shells the movie calls fiances. A braver movie would've had them both realize their dream wedding wouldn't be complete without each other in a much more literal sense than what ended up on screen.

Though I suppose that could've introduced a whole new set of problems, and since this one couldn't even get relatively small things like the fact that it's okay to be excited about your wedding and acknowledge that it's a life-changing day in any person's life without making it out to be some final piece in The Complete Woman life cycle, it's probably best they left it alone.