Mutant Girls Squad (Noboru Iguchi, Yoshihiro Nishimura & Tak Sakaguchi, 2010)

I am not exaggerating when I say that this is, almost without doubt, the worst movie I have ever seen. Ineptly constructed, built on the theory that violence and wackiness are inherently hilarious, self-consciously nonsensical and immensely sleazy, there is literally nothing to ever recommend about this movie. If someone I knew saw it and told me they liked it I would probably stop talking to them forever. I don't want to know the kind of people who like this movie. Towards the end I could feel myself, partially inebriated and drowsy due to the fact that it was a midnight show, walking some line between being able to stay awake and falling asleep. With a little bit of effort, my body could've gone either way, but I actually chose to go to sleep as a way to just be away from this awful movie for a little bit. If I hadn't been there with friends I would've walked out after the first ten minutes, pretty convinced I'd made the right choice. And it would've been! It was completely without redeeming content. Without hyperbole, I did not laugh once. Though when I say worst, I mean mostly from a construction standpoint. It is not the worst in that watching it made me feel the dirtiest or most angry or that its being embraced felt like some weird omen of how lost in the dregs our society is, though there are inklings of that in parts. Overall, it is not so hideous and despicable that I am filled with self-righteous fury over its existence. It's close, but it does not beat out things like Piranha 3D or Punisher: War Zone or Enter the Void for ugly, hateful movies I've seen lately. But it is far worse made and more hideous to even look at than any of those movies.